Never ever blog but it is one of those days where it feels right.

I have to say I’ve always been ambitious, when inspired. My mom says that on my first day of school I was the kid who was excited about all the things she was going to learn, not how many kids there were to play with. I wanted to be a marine biologist, an astronomer and an archaeologist. I got straight A’s and was in chess tournaments. Then I got to high school and the opposite effect happened. I lost that inspiration and traded it in for meaningless things, lost that feeling that I was capable of anything.

I can feel that flame burning bright inside of me again. I’m in the beginnings and I’m making amends for all my laziness. I’m getting A’s instead of C’s again.

I had a dream last night that for the hell of it I applied to a bunch of Ivy League schools and got accepted into all of them.

Is it stupid to think I am capable of doing this in reality? I don’t think for my Bachelor’s degree but definitely for graduate school. 

I feel like I need something more than just academics to get me that far though. I need to find something that I’m really passionate about to excel in, like how I used to LOOOVE chess. I can see myself going far with Bikram yoga but I’m not sure that is the thing to set me apart from others. 

I feel like an opportunity is going to present itself and that when it does I have to be ready to jump and GRAB it.

I can see myself graduating from an Ivy league school and working for the United Nations some day.

AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I INTEND TO DO, no matter if anyone believes me or not.

Look again at that dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every “superstar,” every “supreme leader,” every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there—on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.

Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.

The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.

It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.

— Carl Sagan, Pale Blue Dot, 1994

If there is indeed an afterlife, I believe it will be a physical, unconscious one. ..

..mass cannot be created/destroyed, although it may be rearranged in space, and changed into different types of particles. This implies that for any chemical process in a closed system, the mass of the reactants must equal the mass of the products…

“Even if it means oblivion, friends, I’ll welcome it, because it won’t be nothing. We’ll be alive again in a thousand blades of grass, and a million leaves; we’ll be falling in the raindrops and blowing in the fresh breeze; we’ll be glittering in the dew under the stars and the moon out there in the physical world, which is our true home and always was.”

-The Amber Spyglass, Philip Pullman

Ten Are You’s

1. Are you single - overly
2. Are you happy -  david bowie party last night, slept in missed school and eating great food, i am fucking happy
3. Are you bored -  nooo
4. Are you naked -  i have no bra or underwear on ;)
5. Are you a blonde - i was last night
6. Are you moody - no i had a great sleep and actually dont feel tired!
7. Are you a lover/hater - huge lover of life
8. Are you hot/cold -  perfect
9. Are you Irish - partially i think
10. Are you Asian- no u

Ten Facts

1. Full Name – Deidre Lillian Olsen
2. Nicknames – DeeDee, Dr.Dre
3. Any birth marks – vajj!!
4. Hair color – naturally brown, died redddyyy nao
5. Natural hair color – brown
6. Eye color – brown
7. Height – 5’9
8. Mood - marvelous
9. Favorite color – purple

10. One Place to Visit – stockholm, sweden

Nine things about your love life

1. Do you believe in love at first sight – not really, i suppose possible but highly unlikely
2. Do you believe in soul mates – absolutely not
3. Have you ever been hurt emotionally - sorta
4. Have you ever broke someone’s heart? – absolutely
5. Ever had your heart broken? - not truly, lg wise yes
6. Have you ever liked someone but never told them? – yea
7. Are you afraid of commitment? – now i am. i’m afraid of fucking myself over
8. Who was the last person you hugged? - kaylee or shaye
9.  Who was the last person you said I love you to? – my mom

Nine this or that

1. Love or lust – love
2. Cats or dogs – dogs
3. A few best friends or many regular friends - both
4. Television or internet - internet
5. Chinese Or Indian - chinese
6. Wild night out or romantic night in – wild night
7. Money or Happiness - money can buy happiness, it’s true
8. Night or Day - day
9. MSN or Phone - Phone 

Eight have you ever

1. Been caught sneaking out – nope, i was a stealth lg
2. Been skinny dipping -  many times
3. Bungee jumped – no
4. Lied to someone you liked – yes
5. Finished an entire jaw breaker – many a time. 
6. Wanted an ex bf/gf back – nope
7. Cried because you lost a pet – bailey
8. Wanted to disappear – hasn’t everyone

Ten preferences in a partner

1. Smile or eyes – eyes. 
2. Light or dark hair - light
3. Hugs or kisses – kisses

4. Shorter or taller – taller

5. Intelligence or attraction - intellegences = attraction
6. Romantic or spontaneous - spontaneous

7. Funny or serious – funny and serious when needed 
8. Older or Younger - older. 
9. Outgoing or quiet – outgoing
10. Sweet or Bad Ass – depends

Eight have you’s

1. Ever performed in front of a large crowd – yep
2. Ever done drugs – sure have
3. Ever been on a cheerleading team – have!
4. Ever been on a dance team -  yes
5. Ever been on a sports team - yes
6. Ever been in a drama play/production – yes
7. Ever owned a BMW, Mercedes Benz, Escalade, Hummer or Bentley? - no
8. Ever been in a rap video? – no

Last person to

1. Sleep in bed beside you? - tillie padugi migeum

2. Saw you cry? – my mom over fable 3
3. You went out to dinner with? - no idea
4. You talked on the phone to? - kaylee
5. Made you laugh? - thaortg?

Would you rather

1. Pierce your nose or tongue? – nose
2. Be serious or be funny? – serious
3. Drink whole or skim milk? - skim!!
4. Spend time with your parents or enemies? - parents

Are you

1. Simple or complicated? – neither
2. Retarded? - in pictures

Do you prefer

1. Flowers or candy? - neither
2. Gray or black? - black
3. Color or Black and white photos? – color
4. Sunrise or sunset?- both
5. Staying up late or waking up early? - waking up early, nothing beats the morning
6. Sun or moon? - sun
7. Winter or Summer? - fall and spring
8. Left or right? - right
9. 10 acquaintances or having two best friends? – two best freinds
10. Sun or rain? - rain
11. Vanilla or chocolate ice cream? - vanilla
12. Vodka or Jack Daniels? - vodka

Answer truthfully

1. Do you like anyone? - no
2. Do they know it? – no

Unique

1. Nervous Habits? - bite my nails

2. Are you double jointed? – no
3. Can you twist your tongue around and roll it? - i think
4. Can you raise one eyebrow? – no
5. Can you cross your eyes? - yes
6. Do you make your bed daily? – never

In the last month, have you

1. Had a relationship? - nope 
2. Bought something? - yes
3. Sang - yes
4. Been hugged - yes
5. Felt stupid - yes
6. Missed someone -yes 

Lasts

1. Last Alcoholic Drink - pbr
2. Last Car ride - not sure
3. Last Movie Seen - the postman

4. Last Song Played - long haired child - devendra banhart

Day One: Your current relationship status & discuss. The person you like & why you like the

I don’t like anyone. I am single as fuck. I enjoy being single as fuck. I enjoy independence and not depending on anyone but myself….and independence. I am the only one I have to worry about, I make the decisions for myself. No cutesy bullshit etc etc etc. VOMIT.

makingnewnamessuck:

Day One: Your current relationship status & discuss. The person you like & why you like them.
Day Two: The meaning behind your Tumblr name.
Day Three: Your dreams.
Day Four: The best thing to happen to you this week.
Day Five: How you’d spend $10 000.
Day Six: Write 30 interesting facts about…

(Source: josephineariel)

em-bem:

Most obviously I have drifted from tumblr. I for some reason have a hard time keeping up with it. So I’m going to attempt to do so for the millionth time. A lot lately has been on my mind the matter of ethics. Ethical principles, mostly from watching Star Trek, which uses moral fables to present…

The need to justify one’s own existence is a driving force to do good for most people, to varying degrees, but what about empathy?  Doing the “good” thing because you know that it will benefit other people, who have as much of a right to exist and love themselves and their lives as you do.  Sociopaths and narcissists don’t worry much about ethics because they don’t have any empathy whatsoever.  Doing “good” to make yourself feel good about yourself is one thing, but what about people who do good because they love other people, or at the very least respect them, and can, or at least try to, relate to them?  It’s a fucked up world, but the better we treat each other the easier life is.

Well first look at “the better we treat each other the easier life is.”

Empathy, I suppose, can go in two directions. Obviously the ability of the human to be genuinely selfless may be somewhat possible as it seems Empathy can play a role in the act of doing something generous to help out a loved one or someone in need. However empathy is usually backed by selfishness where this selfishness is defined as positive or negative.

Perhaps the scenario is this: Your sibling is in a tight situation. She has recently separated from her long-term boyfriend and is taking the grief in a poor way. She is extremely depressed and has taken time off of work. She has to pay her bills however so she asks you for money.

You can compensate for her feelings, understand that she is in a dark situation and hope that she will find the light at the end of the tunnel and get through it. Obviously you don’t want to give her the money but if you were in the same situation you would at least hope for the same understanding back.

You can never entirely walk in someones shoes, only try to understand how they feel and be sympathetic to their situation and help compensate for it.

The driving force behind giving your sister the money is not merely the fact that you love her, it is because obviously you feel and understand her pain but also because it would be thrown back in your own face if you didn’t help her out. You would look negative selfish. People would judge you and all the other negativity that comes with not giving her the money would come with it too.

This is a part of justification. For most situations you weigh out the consequences of either act, whether or not Empathy has anything to do with it. You chose the alternative which best suits yourself. Perhaps it is then that Empathy helps to chose the alternative which best suits all parties involved in the consequences of an act.

You must justify your actions after you have chosen your alternative. For other scenarios where perhaps Empathy wasn’t involved you would chose the alternative which best suits yourself and justify it to yourself only.

Empathy still needs justification and is still inhibiting and can be considered selfish in a positive way. Either way you still weigh out what best suits all parties. There are obviously times when a mother would chose between herself and her child but would justify her life as a whole as one of goodness by her sacrifice, inhibiting nonetheless, which would be the better alternative, again, for both parties.